Best advice for someone turning 30 from a Millennial
Making the most of your 30s is all about balance, intentionality, and prioritization. Shed self-limiting beliefs and toxic relationships, invest heavily in physical and mental health to build a baseline for longevity, and actively manage your time and money. It’s your decade to thrive.
Your alarm hits 12 midnight, and if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably just stumbled home from yet another nightclub, thinking it was one last hurrah for your 20s on this earth. You drag out a jar of cold water from the fridge, attempting to cool down while trying to find comfort in the quiet where everyone else is already deep in slumber. As you sit in this awkward silence and solitude, you can’t help but wonder what you’re really supposed to leave behind to salvage anything worthwhile from the so-called exciting and thrilling decade that lies ahead.
In my late 20s, I lost track of how many wedding invitations flooded my FB messenger like a caffeinated pigeon, each one featuring colleagues’ newlywed adventures while I was still embracing my child-like personality and solo takeaway nights. Facebook notifications became my personal horror show—my ex-boyfriends’ church weddings, in-laws’ family visits, tiny humans as “first babies” — all while I was just trying to embrace my singlehood like a fierce lioness on the savannah, filled with joy and way too much takeout!
“I take pride in my work, but it started feeling more like a cycle of expectations”.
As a frontliner in my industry, I supposedly get the opportunity to network with our clients, discussing what our firm claims are the most up-to-date business projects. I was often labeled as a “tough person” in my office, insisting on paperwork and quick delivery of work. Sure, I feel a rush of adrenaline when our team manages to deliver a project within the timeline, but is it really that impressive? I take pride in my work, but it started feeling more like a cycle of expectations. My dating life, on the other hand, has been a bit of a rollercoaster. I’ve often found myself stuck with immature men who seem to embody self-centeredness and financial irresponsibility. Despite this, I guess I should be thankful for the meetings; we made the best of a less-than-ideal situation.
I remember a time when I crashed my ex-date’s meeting with someone he met online in Ho Chi Minh City—a rather impulsive choice, I must admit. It was a bittersweet experience; meeting new faces in this vibrant city brought some joy, even as he pursued his own dating adventures. Deep down, I sensed that our relationship was at its end, but I was caught in a whirlwind of emotions about him. Years later, while living in the same country, I uncovered his online dating activities from our time together. I had overlooked the warning signs when he connected with a few girls back in his home country, perhaps out of a hopeful belief that he could change. Before we ultimately separated, he shared his ideals for a life partner, and no matter what I did, I felt I never truly fit into his vision.
In the tunnel of my sadness, I was hit with a serious illness. My ex-boyfriend, whom I was almost married to when I was much younger, returned and supported me throughout my medical visit, surgical procedure, and physical recovery. It warmed my heart to see him by my side during my darkest days, his presence a comforting reminder that I wasn’t alone; he dedicated himself wholeheartedly as my caregiver, patiently helping me through each moment of this difficult journey.
I suppose I managed to connect with a few ex-secondary schoolmates in my 30s. Most of us hadn’t spoken since high school, and after running into each other in malls, we thought it might be worthwhile to have some familiar faces around in Singapore. Sure, there are a handful of close childhood friends I’ve kept in touch with over the years, but is that really the norm? In your 30s, you might find you have a lot of friends who drift in and out of your life as you start blooming in your career, and it’s a bit surprising how those friendships seem to shift over time—if you can even call it that.
One crucial piece of advice is to prioritize your financial health, as it serves as the essential financial foundation for both your family and your future self. In your late 30s, you will begin to dispose of numerous items that you have invested considerable money in, such as cosmetics, fashionable clothing, and old books. You may be astonished by the total amount spent and regret not having allocated those funds towards better opportunities, such as international travel experiences and exposure. A valuable lesson imparted by my mother is to avoid excessive investment in the property market, which has afforded me the flexibility to take greater risks in my career. Additionally, I co-founded two small start-ups that align more closely with my long-term objectives, granting me increased independence and the ability to implement my own vision.
Individuals need to truly prioritize their health and well-being. I empathize with this struggle, as I have often neglected my own health despite my mother’s caring reminders about diet, sleep habits, and stress management. Like many, I fell into the routine of consuming takeaway fast food, excessive caffeine, alcohol, and not getting enough sleep, mistakenly believing that my youth shielded me from health issues. It’s essential to embrace mindful eating and maintain an active lifestyle with regular exercise. I encourage you to explore enjoyable activities, perhaps through introductory workshops for Yoga or Pilates, or even a tailored High-Intensity Training (HIT) session to find what resonates with you. While long-distance running may not work for everyone—especially for those sensitive to heat—I find joy in playing matches on the badminton court during my weekends.
I also attended some mindfulness workshops, wondering what the hype is all about. However, I often leave feeling worse than before the session. Sure, I appreciated the instructors’ attention and patience, but I still can’t shake the feeling that the mental block could resolve on its own without all this overthinking and taking others’ opinions too seriously. It seems that the more we obsess over what others think, the more tangled our thoughts become. Unless their input is genuinely useful for personal growth, I wonder if it’s better to just focus inward and trust our instincts, rather than seeking validation in external voices that might not even understand our true struggles.
In summary, what I learned about my 30s is the exhilarating joy of diving into the ocean of the unknown and enthusiastically embracing the myriad opportunities it offers. We don’t need to have all the answers immediately, as there is no single definitive solution. What is truly meant for us will always find its way home, regardless of the circumstances. While some things may delicately fade away, there are abundant areas within our control—like practicing mindful wellness, timely health screenings, and managing personal financial spending—where we can truly flourish. Always appreciate the profound impact of having a personal financial specialist and insurance consultant by your side. They can be immensely beneficial for your immediate and long-term financial security and lifestyle, ensuring you navigate the complexities of life with confidence and peace of mind.
Actively engaging with former colleagues and clients, forging new friendships with an open heart, nurturing connections with inspiring mentors, and prioritizing flexibility in our careers can immensely enrich our lives. As I approach my 40th in the coming year, I am filled with excitement and anticipation to share more valuable insights as I embark on this vibrant new decade, overflowing with a renewed perspective on my personal life and soaring career aspirations.
